words of advice

Global Engagement Summit // One Economy Corporation // Prevent Human Trafficking

First of all, Happy Earth Day.

The reason that I have been slow to post over the past week is because since last Wednesday I have been working with the Northwestern University Global Engagement Summit. There I had the pleasure of seeing the One Economy Corporation's Alec Ross deliver the opening keynote address. At the end of the week, I was doubly treated by seeing Christine Arnold of the Prevent Human Trafficking deliver the closing address. In their speeches, they offered plenty of advice by way of discussing the merits of embracing audacity, tenacity, and failure.

Ross, a graduate of Northwestern, went on to work for Teach For America in the mid-90s and would afterward start One Economy Corporation with the goal of bridging technological divisions that stand between the developed and developing world. Since then, the company has grown exponentially and millions of global citizens have benefited from their work. Similarly inspiring, Arnold, against many, many odds, started Prevent Human Trafficking and has worked effortlessly to bring attention to this issue.

As for the wisdom he had to share with the young audience, Ross claimed to have learned two things since graduating from the school almost a decade and a half ago. He first encouraged the delegates to hold onto the sense of audacity that comes with the electrified experience of being a college student. Then Ross encouraged the audience to be unafraid of failure. We learn from our failure, so it is best to not be repelled by it. And since there's not a whole lot to lose when we're around college age, we might as well just do it.

Arnold encouraged the importance of looking beyond the odds, asking for things believed to be out of reach, and looking into the darkness for occasional reminders that things aren't that bad. Mysterious gifts--sometimes in the form of the kindness of strangers and others as the donation of yachts--often await us when things seem like they're at their darkest.

Their words were excellent and tangible forms of inspiration for a young audience who had come from nearly 40 different countries to this one place to exchange ideas, ask thoughtful questions, and plan on how they would best put into action their plans to make their world a better place.

-Editor

Kristin O'Brien, 23, public relations professional

1. Think before you open your trap.

2. Your friends will always be there for you. If they aren't then they aren't your friend. And that's okay.

3. Read. Read anything and everything you can.

4. Don't ever date anyone you work with.

5. Your mom is always right. It might take years to realize this, but someday you have to admit that she knows her shit.

6. Neck tattoos are stupid.
[I Learned that one from my mama]

Before relocating to Portland, Kristin lived and worked in Boston. She graduated from Bentley College with a degree in Information Design and Corporate Communication.

 

Chris Neri, 31, musician, comedian, writer

The healing power of laughter

A few years ago a friend of mine was having a bad day. I didn't know how to help him and make him feel better so not entirely sure of what else to do, I told him a bad joke. It was a somewhat blue joke that involved Siamese twins and some kind of intimate act that I don't quite remember exactly. It caught him off guard and, to my surprise, he actually laughed. I may not have solved his problem but, for a moment at least, I made him feel not quite as bad.

Humor and laughter are essential to life. I tell people "If people aren't laughing and having fun at my funeral then it was all for nothing." That's one of the things that appeal to me about comedy. How necessary it is to find the humor in everything. Humor and laughter are wonderful things.

On family

Surround yourself with people you love: Family, friends, loved ones, waiters you see everyday, coworkers, etc. It will make the whole thing a lot more fun.

"You're no one till somebody hates you"

There's always gonna be some annoying, dissenting voice that's aimed in your direction. Just laugh at them, get it out of your system and move on. When you piss off the idiots of the world, chances are you're doing something right. You're making waves, man. Don't be afraid to be hated for who you are and what you do. At the same time don't make them hate you. Chances are you've got a lot to offer and if they don't want to see that then forget 'em. They're not worth your time. Focus instead on the people that know what you're about and think you're great.

Success, in the eyes of the public, is overrated

As a musician I've been in a position where I've played for over 1,000 people and I just wasn't that into it. I've also played for audiences of only a handful of people and absolutely gave the best I had to offer and had a great time. Which of these sounds like the better show? Make your own definition of what success really is. Success doesn't have to be about numbers. Ask yourself "What do I think about how I'm doing?" If you can ask yourself that and be happy with the answer then you've already succeeded.

Age, shmage

Rodney Dangerfield didn't start doing professional comedy until he was into his 40's. Willie Nelson didn't really become Willie Nelson until he was well into his 30's. Pretty much all my favorite bands and artists are guys that have been around for awhile. Who wants to hear a young, angsty Johnny Cash?

Bottom line age doesn't matter. In fact I think it's better when you're older. Older folks are more interesting to me. They've been around and seen more things and, chances are, probably have a little more to say. I don't know about you folks, but I didn't have a whole lot to say when I was 21. I like that I'm 31 and getting into comedy for the first time. It's something I've wanted to try for years but never had the guts to do it. It's taken me awhile but eventually, when I felt ready, I went for it. I feel the same way now as I did when I was 15 and learning how to play guitar. In learning to love music back then the possibilities seemed endless. At 31 I'm feeling that feeling all over again with this new thing. Maybe 31 isn't THAT old of an age but my point is that you can feel this way when you're 41 or 51 too. The only real age limits are the ones you set for yourself. And, you know, drinking ages and stuff like that.

Eat right and exercise

Something I don't always follow myself, but you do have to lay off the Burger King.

"What do I like about myself?"

Ask this daily. It's amazingly easy to pick out the flaws, but why? We all have them. We all know they're there. No need to focus so intently on them. Start with what works and then figure out what you might need to improve on.

... And the most basic rule of all:

Do what you want and do what makes you happy, just don't hurt other people. The point of all this is to think, feel, share, experience but don't take it all too seriously.

A native New Englander, Chris Neri has been a musician, a comedian and sometimes a writer. A true lover of the DIY method he lives currently with his family in Houston, TX.

Matthew Mowatt, 27, Peace Corps volunteer in Kazakhstan

Being in Kazakhstan for almost two years now has caused me to look at myself more than I would like to.  I have seen many parts of me dissolve within Kazakh culture while others, unknown completely to me, surface out of nowhere.  I had a long conversation with someone on a train to southern Kazakhstan about identity.  I have come to the conclusion that where you are and who you are with definitely shapes a lot of who you are.

If you wish to seek yourself out and know more about your own life, I advise you to be humble when the answers come, because not all of them will be uplifting and wonderful.  Be patient with yourself and with others.  Listen attentively and make an effort to remember the seemingly meaningless bits about a person's life.  Try to separate your prejudices from yourself if you find it hard listening to a person.  Give everybody at least two chances because the first chance is always for you.  Notice your failure without complaining to anybody or yourself, simply correct them.  Laziness eats away at life silently and comfortably; don't let it.  Know that everybody suffers and do not contribute more to their suffering.

Before becoming a Peace Corps volunteer, Mowatt was a record store employee. He graduated from the University of Southern Maine with a philosophy degree.

Susan Hopkins, 41, lawyer and activist

Start investing in an IRA in a sound mutual fund as soon as possible. The longer you have it, the more the your interest works for you. Even if you only put away a little money each year, just do it!

Susan Hopkins represents low-income immigrants in political asylum and family-based immigration issues [She shares an office with a financial planner].

Kate Beever, 23, college admissions counselor

Working as an admissions counselor, I travel a lot.  Not too far, but it is amazing to me how much people change even two or three states away.  Growing up, my family didn't travel a lot.  We have lived in Maine for generations and we never really left.  Since, traveling has become a hunger inside me.  I've realized how important it is to expand your knowledge past what you grew up in. Even if you completely agree with the way you were raised and the functions of your community, it's absolutely necessary to find people with other traditions and ways of life.  Try to live like them.  Have conversations with them.  LISTEN to them.  Listening is something that my freshman year philosophy professor drilled into us as the most important skill in life, and I'll never forget it.  He couldn't have been more right. 

Try new things, and try to be positive about them.  This is tough, but remind yourself that everything is placed in your life for a reason, even if you won't figure that reason out for years- if ever.  It is necessary to meet new people and listen to them so that you can find the good in everyone, everything.  Everyone you meet, everywhere you end up, even completely negative, is important in your life.  And give people a chance- try to be friendly to everyone you meet- you never know who might change your life.

Talk to kids with disabilities- the summer I spent working at a camp for kids with special needs completely changed my life.  The children with autism I met taught me much more than I probably taught them. Those kids really kept my perspective in check and reminded me, daily, what is most important in life.  So whenever you can, volunteer with children.  All children- they're amazing!

My junior year of college, I wrote a notebook full of lists for my younger cousin- he was about to go to college, and having just completed my first two years I thought if I could give him every piece of advice I wish I had received, he could avoid all the mistakes I made. But I never gave him the book.  In fact, I think I found it a year ago and threw it out.  I'm not sure that my advice would ever apply to him, or anyone else.  I've finally realized that all the things I went through my freshman and sophomore years that I saw as completely negative, had actually happened so that I could learn from them.  While I'd like to pass these lessons on to others who may need them, life lessons are individualized for each person- and they come from experiencing things.

So experience everything you can find!

Kate Beever is a musician and college admissions counselor at the University of New England.

Greg Mortimer, 24, editorial assistant

I think it's critical to be humble.

My high school's slogan was, and still is, "Men for Others." (It was all-guys school run by the Jesuits, whom the novelist Pat Conroy once called "the Rotweilers of Catholic education"). On a surface level this justified the several hours of community service that was required to graduate. But as I went through college and into the working world, I remembered my time there and dwelled on this mantra, deciding that, at its core, it was urging us to conduct our lives' relationships with selflessness.

Of course, plenty of graduates forget this and plunge head first into the distractions of college life. Who doesn't? After I spent a semester abroad, any last traces of my religiosity slipped away, and I didn't do nearly as much volunteering as I should have after four years in DC. I did take incredible service trips to South Dakota and New Orleans on spring breaks in college, but otherwise I was consumed by the bubble of academia and trying to enjoy what was left of my pre-real world freedom, not to mention figuring out what I wanted to do in life.

And then a friend gave me a copy of The Best American Non-Required Reading, 2006. The last piece of the collection is the 2005 commencement address at Kenyon College, delivered by the writer David Foster Wallace. If you haven't read this, do so immediately (you can find it online). At its heart, it's a speech that articulates a brilliantly original definition of humility. By way of two examples Wallace fleshes out for the graduates the little routine hells they can expect in the world beyond: being cut off by an aggressively speeding Hummer in traffic and waiting in a miserably interminable supermarket checkout line replete with screaming children and people talking too loudly on their cell phones. But what, he asks, if the asshole driving the Hummer had a sick child in the seat next to him and was rushing to the emergency room? What if you thought about the fact that the people in the checkout line are as bored and frustrated as you are, and that some of them might have lives much more difficult and tedious than yours? Allow me to quote liberally:

"…the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom."

Humility doesn't appear overnight--you become aware of possessing it only after a slow-churning accumulation of the right kinds of experiences, but particularly the constant remembrance that humility is inextricably bound to the idea that, without others, we have nothing. And the consequent payoff is the natural emergence of other traits from it: patience, sensitivity, balance, forgiveness, and my favorite of all: the crucial ability to not take yourself so seriously.

Greg Mortimer, 24, works at Ecco, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers in New York.

Andrew Kessler, 30, business owner

I sat in my cubicle at age 27, and realized I had 40 more years of the same situation occurring every day until I could retire. 40 more years of allergy inducing padded walls and fluorescent bulbs casting off headache inducing green light. 40 more years of ever expanding office ass and scavenging for second hand meeting food to make the time go by.

And I realized I didn't want to waste my life like this.

A couple weeks later the chance to start a coffee company appeared out of nowhere. 

Chances are all around you. You just have to keep your eyes open for them. Most people keep their head down and hope to make it through the day. And while all of us fall into a rut at times, real changes in your life will occur when you're willing to throw off the security blanket you've wrapped around yourself.

The same goes for luck. Luck takes a lot of hard work. Most times you have to make your own. Sometimes the cosmos aligns in just the right way that allows you to have everything you want in the world without lifting a finger (see Hilton, Paris). Lets be honest though, we never respect a person who hasn't suffered in some way for their success. Luck comes from seeing the small chances that appear from time to time, and by being willing to grab for them when you see it.

Try to learn from other people's failures so you don't have to.

Never trust a person who says they've never failed. They're either full of shit or don't try hard enough.

Stop asking for approval and start doing. it's easier to apologize than it is to get someone to say yes.

Your reputation is all you have. Whether it's your credit report, handshake, or word, you'll be hard pressed to get it back once it's gone.

If you're ever depressed, NEVER play "August and Everything After" from Counting Crows.

Lastly, People love gossip. People also love giving advice. Take both with a grain of salt. The people giving it are just as lost as you are. 

Andrew Kessler is a founding partner of The Freaky Bean Coffee Company.

Stefany Arsenault, 26, environmental educator

If you ever get the chance, I strongly suggest you coach kids on a sports team. I coached middle school girls' soccer and it was great.  I was there for only two short years, but I got to see these girls grow, make friendships and build confidence.  One girl pierced her belly button on her own (I wouldn't suggest it!) and when it got infected she came to me - not her mom, not the school nurse - I felt like she really trusted me.  She was what I'd call an "at risk" kid and I was heartbroken when her mother found out about the piercing and took her off the team.  I thought that was the worst thing she could've done - after all this was a positive after-school activity where she was making friends with girls who don't get into trouble.

Stefany works for Maine Energy Education Program, a non-profit organization that provides free presentations to classrooms throughout Maine.

Asher Platts, 25, composer, musician, artist, and political activist

As you look towards the future, don't feel overwhelmed by the choices you have to make as you are picking a path in life. Whether it's declaring a major in college, or picking a career, nothing, nothing, NOTHING in life is set in stone, and you can change your mind whenever you want. If something interests you, look into it, and don't be afraid of jumping in and learning.

Asher Platts recently completed an internship with the Dennis Kucinich presidential campaign. He hopes to finish up his degree in Jazz Performance next year, and he'll likely be going on to get his masters in law.